Melanie Nilles

I see that the character interviews and appendices are still quite popular for downloads.  If anyone is interested in further downloads of information, I’d be happy to provide them as PDFs.

It may be some time before the actual canon story is published, now that I’m searching again for a publisher.  However, if you’re gaming or interested in the world, I’m happy to oblige your interest.  Please comment or send me an email if you think I should make further information available.

I had a revelation this morning about a story I had started, which had died several deaths.  I suspect a lot of that had to do with the fact that I wasn’t sure about an ending.  I finally realized it was meant to be a short.  After starting the process of paring down what I have to what I can still use, I reached a point where I couldn’t use anything beyond that, except some of the worldbuilding and background info.

That’s where I sat down and started planning.  It flowed into an ending.  Better yet, it makes perfect sense!  I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.  But sometimes that happens.  As with A Turn of Curses, I was trying to stretch a short story into a novel.  Condensing what I had done of that wasn’t easy.  This one won’t be either, but it will be worth it in the end.  (I mean that literally )

I have to know my ending as a guide to write an effective story.  When I don’t know it, I have trouble writing.  I need a goal to aim for.  With the daemon story, I now have that.  I hope to keep it under the 17K word count limit of the Writers of the Future Contest.  Might as well keep submitting as long as I’m qualified to enter.   After all, Curses made honorable mention.  Perhaps Daemon can too.

Now that the ending makes sense, I have that goal to write towards.  It’ll be tight, but I’m sure I can do it.  After all, I did it once already!

It’s done.  Dragon Prophecy is out but the others will not be from the same publisher.  You’ve probably noticed that all the books except DP have been taken off my website.  When I find a new publisher for the rest of the series, I’ll be sure to post about it.  For now, I’m back to the query/submission queue.  It’s a lottery I hate playing, but hopefully, someone will see the value in the story and pick up the rest of the series.

Actually, the rest of the series could stand alone well without Dragon Prophecy.  DP introduces all the characters and their backgrounds and brings things together.  The next part picks up where that leaves off, and it’s easy to jump into the action.  In fact, it almost works better, since by not having info dumps or slow scenes to show things, the action is faster paced and more exciting.  It also leaves lots of questions to be answered about how one character relates to another and what happened to get them where they are.  (I’ve been editing.)

Now, the hard part is writing that darned summary called a synopsis.  With 300,000 words of manuscript total, condensing that down with more than two dozen characters is quite a chore.  I know I can do it, but it will take some time to get it right.

In the meantime, I’m finishing up an editing pass on the entire three books worth of manuscript.  It’s been interesting, but I’m so ready to move on to something new that it’s almost sickening.  I love the dragon series.  Don’t get me wrong.  But I can only digest something so much before that cud is over-metastisized.  I need something fresh and exciting.  This isn’t exciting and new anymore.  I’ve worked on it for almost eight years, give or take a year, even around other writing projects, and I want it done.

Moving on will be exciting again.

Whoever said life was fun?

I’m sure someone did, but for most of us, it’s work.  Work for someone else, work for ourselves, work for our families…Work, work, work!  Our dreams take work too.

But having fun working.  Now, that’s when life is fun.  I enjoy writing, although it is work.  I enjoy working with horses, but that’s work.  I would much rather muck stalls and clean pens than clean my house.  Cleaning house is no fun.  Cleaning horses and their waste is time spent with horses.  Any time I can be with my horse is relaxation.  It’s pleasant work.  In fact, it’s not work at all.  It’s fun.  Sure, training him is work, but it’s a joy.

Writing is like that for me.  But I don’t like the business side of it or the public side.  I just want to write.  And I hope you all enjoy the results.  Unfortunately, I have to deal with the business side–submitting (rejections and acceptance, and everything that goes with it)–and the public side.  I don’t mind sharing parts of my life, but I’m not the kind of person who’s comfortable in crowds or taking center stage.  Sure, I like to hear praise and hate criticism–who doesn’t?  Perhaps that’s one of the factors contributing to why I like horses so much.  They’re so giving and beautiful, and forming a connection with a special horse brings a peace to the soul that nothing else can.

I know I’m rambling.  I have thoughts in my head with some connections to each other and nothing at all.  I’m in a mood.  I go through those.  After all I’m only human.

For a while, I was riding high on good times.  That doesn’t last.  Things change.  Eventually what goes up must come down.  I’m going into one of those slumps.  Kinda like the economy, which moves in cycles, whether weeks, months, or years.  It’s the same in my personal life.  I feel uninspired and down and right now wish that something would work.  That something I’ve submitted would catch an editor’s or agent’s eyes.  I’m looking for that acceptance, that validation that all the work is worthwhile.  For me, that keeps the writing fun.  My horse accepts me all the time and accomplishing even small steps towards my training goals fulfills me.  With writing, it’s the acceptance that is fulfilling.  It’s personal achievement, and it’s important to each of us.

That’s where I am.  I need that.  I feel like my writing career is stalling before it’s started.  Maybe there will never be a career.  Sometimes, like now, I feel like I’ll never “get it”.  I’m sick of writing forums and I’m jealous of writers who get it in one.  When is it time to give up?

Writers write first for themselves, then for others.  I need to write, always have, just as I need to ride horse.  It’s a way of escaping from the real world.  Will I ever give it up?  I don’t know.  For now, I’ll get past this slump and continue, at least until I run out of ideas I like.  To hell with what editors and agents want.  I know what I want.  I can only hope that they like it too. I’d feel better.

(X-posted from livejournal)

Occasionally, we all tend to sink to this point I’m at now. I don’t want to move on with any of my WIPs and don’t have any ideas that really excite me. But I must write something. It’s frustrating! I’m so depressed. It’s the blues though, not like real depression.

I’ve got a bit of rejectionitis going on too. I hate getting rejections, but that’s all I’ve had. I need something positive. Submitting is such a gamble. I hate gambling.

Then there’s the other side of submitting–where to submit too. My WOTF honorable mention novelette is 17K, too long for most short fiction markets and too short for novel markets. Where can I submit A Turn of Curses?! My choices are so limited it sickens me. I’ve considered putting that one up as a free PDF download, but I wonder if anyone would be interested. Besides, I’d love to actually get paid for my writing. Wouldn’t we all?

And last, I’m not too ambitious about the promotion of Dragon Prophecy because I wish I had rewritten the first couple hundred pages. Does that happen to other writers? The rest of the series is awesome! I love it! It’s that first volume that I’m not crazy about, because in going back, I see where it really could be stronger and how much I’ve improved even since the editing on it (which wasn’t as thorough as I would have liked).

See? I’m just in a deep funk right now–criticizing myself. I need a little reward to make writing fun again. I need to match a few lottery numbers and get something instead of totally missing all the time. I know my strong points and I know I can write interesting stories, but I think I just write the wrong stuff for what publishers actually want, or at least big publishers. I don’t want to always be published with micropresses. I want to sell to the bigger publishers, the ones who actually get books on bookstore shelves. I know I’m good enough for the micropresses, as my contracts with MP shows; but I want to be better.

The 4-H motto is “To make the best better.” I was a 4-Her for ten years. That motto has always stuck, along with some advice someone once gave about judging shows (I’ve been a 4-H horse show judge for long time but pretty much gave it up with the birth of second daughter). They said “Don’t ever tell a kid they did their best, because it limits them to improving. Tell them they’ll do better next time with more practice.” I sincerely believe that. When we tell ourselves we tried our best, unconsciously we’re limiting ourselves to improvement. It seems contradictory to the 4-H motto, but with the word “better” at the end, I tend to not really consider an effort my best, but to believe I can always do better.

Right now, I’m in a funk of discouragement from even trying though. But writing that made me feel better.

Dark Angel will be a no show. I have decided to cancel the contract with the small publisher for reasons best left unsaid. I will say, however, that I am a day from finishing the rewrite. With all luck, I will see success in the future with the new version.

I hope to move on to Dragon Legends edits…sometime soon.

TTFN

Honestly, I’m not doing it on purpose. I’ve been sooo busy rewriting Dark Angel that I haven’t thought of much else in the last four weeks, least of all blogging. The good news is that I’m almost done. Almost. I still have 10-20K to go, and the ending isn’t going to be the same as the original, much to my mixed emotions. I’m disappointed, because it makes my job of writing harder, but I’m glad, because it will leave it open to turn it into a series, which was my hope way back when I started. This way is best for the story, rather than myself.

Otherwise, I split my time with family and my horse. The writing time takes place around being a wife, mother, horsewoman, etc. But I get 2-3 hours total a day for writing, around everything else, and that doesn’t mean I can sit right down and start writing.  I often need a good half hour of quiet time to wind down after a busy morning or afternoon.  I write during naptime and after my kids are in bed.
In the meantime, be sure to keep checking for updates on Dragon Prophecy and, soon, Dragon Legends. As editing for the second book gets underway, I’ll start posting excerpts of that and eventually the appendices for the second story. If you haven’t already done so, go on and check out both appendices, the character interviewsm and the world map for Dragon Prophecy on the series page.

In the meantime, here’s something fun, compliments of our not-so-little-anymore Harlee Quinn:

moar funny pictures

Here are some pics after Beau raced and bucked and generally showed off in the round pen, and cooled down with a longeline lesson. He’s modeling my old blue wraps, which really stand out against his dark bay color. The hunter green wraps I have look better on him.

He’s looking more adult all the time. For the longest time I thought of him as baby-faced Beau, but he’s filling out now and everything is changing. Unfortunately, he’s still a bit of a shaggy beast. He grew a thick winter coat and isn’t giving it up too quickly.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love him? Star could not hold a candle to him. She was moody and made me resent going to see her. Beau is so full of life and play, but calm once he gets that out of his system, that he energizes me. He fills me with that joy every time. he may not be a $10,000+ warmblood, but he’ll go far (I’m thinking at least 3rd level dressage) and his personality is just what I needed. He’s the right horse for me at this point in my life.

I would sacrifice a lot to see that he has the best care I can give him. Right now that means treating the cough that hasn’t gone away since he was sick in December. The Aeropulmin seems to be doing the trick, and I hope the vet is right that it could clear out his lungs of whatever has been bothering him. Hopefully the one 100 mL bottle will be all I have to buy (It’s expensive!). If not, I’ll get the scoping done that wasn’t done a few weeks ago when I had him in.

God, I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to own him!

I was going to post last night, but yesterday wore me out. Ever have one of those days that you’re so brain-dead by the end that you can’t focus any more? Yeah? Well, that was yesterday for me. It’s been a long week. Now, I’m glad it’s at an end. Hooray for weekends!

Anyway, I’ve been slowing a bit on the rewrite of Dark Angel. While I don’t think I will finish by the end of this month, as I had hoped (so it could go back to editing and get published–sorry for anyone waiting on that), it will definitely be done next month. I could still finish this month. You never know how the creativity will flow some days. I can have a 500 word day then a 5K word day. There are too many factors involved to explain why–weather, sleep patterns, family, horse, cats, housework, etc. All affect my mood and that’s the biggest influence on creativity, for me at least.

As of last night, I had about 32,500 words of the rewrite done. Around the half-way mark. Woohoo! Not quite what my goal for this point would be, but in the ballpark. I slowed down this last week a bit and got behind my goal. I hope to catch up as I’m going into some scenes I’ve been eager to write since the planning of the rewrite.

Why not write them while I think of them? I’m a linear writer. I can plan ahead, but I prefer to write in order. I can go back later and edit, but in the initial writing, I have to work with the right order of events. And those scenes I plan way ahead tend to change, usually for the better.

In other news, I’m still waiting for the pre-release of Dragon Prophecy to turn into actual availability. And I’m waiting on edits for Dragon Legends, which looks like it will be delayed a couple months. I expected that after the four month delay on Dragon Prophecy. Don’t kill the messenger. It’s all in the hands of the publisher right now.

(cross-posted from my livejournal, May 3rd)

Okay, as of tonight, I have 12,500 words on the rewrite done. Not exactly where I wanted to be, but I took most of today to refresh after major burnout this last week. (Try watching seven kids for ten hours a day for at least four days a week. I had one day–one day–with two of them gone. They’re all supposed to be part-time! I can’t keep up like this.)

Anyway, Here’s a rough sample of what I’ve done, as my Saturday snippet:

Raea hurried out her bedroom door and caught a sneer from Dave, who dripped into his room with his towel around his waist. Ew! She did not just see that! He was her cousin, for God’s sakes! That was just…gross. The brat always tried to make her life miserable. She would bet good money he had used up all the hot water too.

Sure enough. She barely had enough tolerable water for a five minute shower and ended up not washing her hair. After a quick make up job and dressing, she flew down the stairs.

“Have a nice shower?” Dave asked from the front entry, where he and his younger brother, Eric, tied their shoes.

She’d make Dave eat that grin on his face, but he’d never let her live it down if she showed any weakness now.

“Very nice. Thanks!” Raea smiled, hoping to erase his gloating.

His lip stiffened, and he turned away, nudging Eric out the door ahead of him.

Yes! That was so worth the fake pleasantry. With a real smile on her face, she grabbed a breakfast bar and carried it to the coat closet by the front door.

Still in early-draft stage, but that’s how it’s looking so far. Much better than it was!