Melanie Nilles

Whoever said life was fun?

I’m sure someone did, but for most of us, it’s work.  Work for someone else, work for ourselves, work for our families…Work, work, work!  Our dreams take work too.

But having fun working.  Now, that’s when life is fun.  I enjoy writing, although it is work.  I enjoy working with horses, but that’s work.  I would much rather muck stalls and clean pens than clean my house.  Cleaning house is no fun.  Cleaning horses and their waste is time spent with horses.  Any time I can be with my horse is relaxation.  It’s pleasant work.  In fact, it’s not work at all.  It’s fun.  Sure, training him is work, but it’s a joy.

Writing is like that for me.  But I don’t like the business side of it or the public side.  I just want to write.  And I hope you all enjoy the results.  Unfortunately, I have to deal with the business side–submitting (rejections and acceptance, and everything that goes with it)–and the public side.  I don’t mind sharing parts of my life, but I’m not the kind of person who’s comfortable in crowds or taking center stage.  Sure, I like to hear praise and hate criticism–who doesn’t?  Perhaps that’s one of the factors contributing to why I like horses so much.  They’re so giving and beautiful, and forming a connection with a special horse brings a peace to the soul that nothing else can.

I know I’m rambling.  I have thoughts in my head with some connections to each other and nothing at all.  I’m in a mood.  I go through those.  After all I’m only human.

For a while, I was riding high on good times.  That doesn’t last.  Things change.  Eventually what goes up must come down.  I’m going into one of those slumps.  Kinda like the economy, which moves in cycles, whether weeks, months, or years.  It’s the same in my personal life.  I feel uninspired and down and right now wish that something would work.  That something I’ve submitted would catch an editor’s or agent’s eyes.  I’m looking for that acceptance, that validation that all the work is worthwhile.  For me, that keeps the writing fun.  My horse accepts me all the time and accomplishing even small steps towards my training goals fulfills me.  With writing, it’s the acceptance that is fulfilling.  It’s personal achievement, and it’s important to each of us.

That’s where I am.  I need that.  I feel like my writing career is stalling before it’s started.  Maybe there will never be a career.  Sometimes, like now, I feel like I’ll never “get it”.  I’m sick of writing forums and I’m jealous of writers who get it in one.  When is it time to give up?

Writers write first for themselves, then for others.  I need to write, always have, just as I need to ride horse.  It’s a way of escaping from the real world.  Will I ever give it up?  I don’t know.  For now, I’ll get past this slump and continue, at least until I run out of ideas I like.  To hell with what editors and agents want.  I know what I want.  I can only hope that they like it too. I’d feel better.

(X-posted from livejournal)

Occasionally, we all tend to sink to this point I’m at now. I don’t want to move on with any of my WIPs and don’t have any ideas that really excite me. But I must write something. It’s frustrating! I’m so depressed. It’s the blues though, not like real depression.

I’ve got a bit of rejectionitis going on too. I hate getting rejections, but that’s all I’ve had. I need something positive. Submitting is such a gamble. I hate gambling.

Then there’s the other side of submitting–where to submit too. My WOTF honorable mention novelette is 17K, too long for most short fiction markets and too short for novel markets. Where can I submit A Turn of Curses?! My choices are so limited it sickens me. I’ve considered putting that one up as a free PDF download, but I wonder if anyone would be interested. Besides, I’d love to actually get paid for my writing. Wouldn’t we all?

And last, I’m not too ambitious about the promotion of Dragon Prophecy because I wish I had rewritten the first couple hundred pages. Does that happen to other writers? The rest of the series is awesome! I love it! It’s that first volume that I’m not crazy about, because in going back, I see where it really could be stronger and how much I’ve improved even since the editing on it (which wasn’t as thorough as I would have liked).

See? I’m just in a deep funk right now–criticizing myself. I need a little reward to make writing fun again. I need to match a few lottery numbers and get something instead of totally missing all the time. I know my strong points and I know I can write interesting stories, but I think I just write the wrong stuff for what publishers actually want, or at least big publishers. I don’t want to always be published with micropresses. I want to sell to the bigger publishers, the ones who actually get books on bookstore shelves. I know I’m good enough for the micropresses, as my contracts with MP shows; but I want to be better.

The 4-H motto is “To make the best better.” I was a 4-Her for ten years. That motto has always stuck, along with some advice someone once gave about judging shows (I’ve been a 4-H horse show judge for long time but pretty much gave it up with the birth of second daughter). They said “Don’t ever tell a kid they did their best, because it limits them to improving. Tell them they’ll do better next time with more practice.” I sincerely believe that. When we tell ourselves we tried our best, unconsciously we’re limiting ourselves to improvement. It seems contradictory to the 4-H motto, but with the word “better” at the end, I tend to not really consider an effort my best, but to believe I can always do better.

Right now, I’m in a funk of discouragement from even trying though. But writing that made me feel better.

Dark Angel will be a no show. I have decided to cancel the contract with the small publisher for reasons best left unsaid. I will say, however, that I am a day from finishing the rewrite. With all luck, I will see success in the future with the new version.

I hope to move on to Dragon Legends edits…sometime soon.

TTFN

Honestly, I’m not doing it on purpose. I’ve been sooo busy rewriting Dark Angel that I haven’t thought of much else in the last four weeks, least of all blogging. The good news is that I’m almost done. Almost. I still have 10-20K to go, and the ending isn’t going to be the same as the original, much to my mixed emotions. I’m disappointed, because it makes my job of writing harder, but I’m glad, because it will leave it open to turn it into a series, which was my hope way back when I started. This way is best for the story, rather than myself.

Otherwise, I split my time with family and my horse. The writing time takes place around being a wife, mother, horsewoman, etc. But I get 2-3 hours total a day for writing, around everything else, and that doesn’t mean I can sit right down and start writing.  I often need a good half hour of quiet time to wind down after a busy morning or afternoon.  I write during naptime and after my kids are in bed.
In the meantime, be sure to keep checking for updates on Dragon Prophecy and, soon, Dragon Legends. As editing for the second book gets underway, I’ll start posting excerpts of that and eventually the appendices for the second story. If you haven’t already done so, go on and check out both appendices, the character interviewsm and the world map for Dragon Prophecy on the series page.

In the meantime, here’s something fun, compliments of our not-so-little-anymore Harlee Quinn:

moar funny pictures

Here are some pics after Beau raced and bucked and generally showed off in the round pen, and cooled down with a longeline lesson. He’s modeling my old blue wraps, which really stand out against his dark bay color. The hunter green wraps I have look better on him.

He’s looking more adult all the time. For the longest time I thought of him as baby-faced Beau, but he’s filling out now and everything is changing. Unfortunately, he’s still a bit of a shaggy beast. He grew a thick winter coat and isn’t giving it up too quickly.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love him? Star could not hold a candle to him. She was moody and made me resent going to see her. Beau is so full of life and play, but calm once he gets that out of his system, that he energizes me. He fills me with that joy every time. he may not be a $10,000+ warmblood, but he’ll go far (I’m thinking at least 3rd level dressage) and his personality is just what I needed. He’s the right horse for me at this point in my life.

I would sacrifice a lot to see that he has the best care I can give him. Right now that means treating the cough that hasn’t gone away since he was sick in December. The Aeropulmin seems to be doing the trick, and I hope the vet is right that it could clear out his lungs of whatever has been bothering him. Hopefully the one 100 mL bottle will be all I have to buy (It’s expensive!). If not, I’ll get the scoping done that wasn’t done a few weeks ago when I had him in.

God, I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to own him!

I was going to post last night, but yesterday wore me out. Ever have one of those days that you’re so brain-dead by the end that you can’t focus any more? Yeah? Well, that was yesterday for me. It’s been a long week. Now, I’m glad it’s at an end. Hooray for weekends!

Anyway, I’ve been slowing a bit on the rewrite of Dark Angel. While I don’t think I will finish by the end of this month, as I had hoped (so it could go back to editing and get published–sorry for anyone waiting on that), it will definitely be done next month. I could still finish this month. You never know how the creativity will flow some days. I can have a 500 word day then a 5K word day. There are too many factors involved to explain why–weather, sleep patterns, family, horse, cats, housework, etc. All affect my mood and that’s the biggest influence on creativity, for me at least.

As of last night, I had about 32,500 words of the rewrite done. Around the half-way mark. Woohoo! Not quite what my goal for this point would be, but in the ballpark. I slowed down this last week a bit and got behind my goal. I hope to catch up as I’m going into some scenes I’ve been eager to write since the planning of the rewrite.

Why not write them while I think of them? I’m a linear writer. I can plan ahead, but I prefer to write in order. I can go back later and edit, but in the initial writing, I have to work with the right order of events. And those scenes I plan way ahead tend to change, usually for the better.

In other news, I’m still waiting for the pre-release of Dragon Prophecy to turn into actual availability. And I’m waiting on edits for Dragon Legends, which looks like it will be delayed a couple months. I expected that after the four month delay on Dragon Prophecy. Don’t kill the messenger. It’s all in the hands of the publisher right now.

I apologize for my absenteeism in the last week. It’s been hell. I am in the process of completely rewriting Dark Angel and with most of it to go, I’m thinking I’m nuts. To make up for this, I thought I’d treat you to something special, if not a little different.

I decided it might be fun to share some trivia facts about my writing of the series, before I move on too far into other projects and forget. I hope you enjoy it

1. The character of Jayson was inspired by the character of Marcus in Babylon 5, played by…Jason Carter. Hence, the name, with a slight spelling change. He’s not a duplicate by any means, but I liked the quirks of Marcus’s personality and wanted that for my character, but there are differences. Jayson also changes over the course of the books, especially once he meets the…Oh, not going to give spoilers. And I have to admit that when I pull out the dvds and watch the series again, I still think JC was cute at that point in time.

2. The rhyming speech for the dragons was something I decided on my own. However, the ability to rhyme consistently was aided by Dr. Seuss. At the time I wrote the first book, I wasn’t reading Seuss and the early scenes that I wrote aren’t as polished as the later ones. By the time I wrote the second through last books, we read Seuss regularly in our household to our child. That helped a lot. Theodore Seuss Geissel had a magical way with words!

3. Istaria Isolder actually developed from a character I had considered for a SF project I wanted to write. I’m glad I didn’t follow up with that but develop a fantasy story around her instead, with a whole new world. She, however, was written into a lesser role than the main character on revisions.

4. I purposely used a lot of North Dakota town names for places on the main continent of Gairdra. Ah, but there’s a catch! Many of those names are altered. After all the books are published, if anyone can find them all and tell me what town I used for that particular name, I’ll send them signed copies of all the books. Here’s a start–Ayrule, the continent name, is the town of Ayr with a few additional letters. Other names are cut or have a letter added to make it just a little different. A few are mentioned exactly as they are. I looked specifically for town names that fit with the naming scheme of the particular continent, but I believe they are all on Ayrule.

5. I purposely swore no dwarves or elves in my books. Too many fantasies use them. “Not I,” said this writer in the spirit of the Little Red Hen. I wanted something different, my own creatures and races.

Once you’ve read Dragon Prophecy, you may want to ask, “How do you work with so many characters?”

I have to say that I don’t sit and analyze how I do anything.  I’ve found that, when I do, I have trouble focusing on the story.  After the fact, I can sit and analyze all I want, which is often how I find plot holes and figure out where the frell the problems are.  A lot of times I make fascinating discoveries about the story that I didn’t realize were there too, which always feels good.

Since I’m in the midst of a WIP now that involves multiple characters, after having written two YAs with only two or three POVs, I’ve looked back on the Legend of the White Dragon series.  Throughout the four books of that series I counted over two dozen POVs.  I laugh maniacally because I have no idea how it happened!  Bwuhahaha!  You shall not have my secrets!
Kidding!

Okay, seriously,  I do whatever the story guides me to do.  I find that I prefer 3rd person close POV.  First person is too close for me, but I have to have some closeness.  I can’t read first so why would I write it?  I also cannot write from only one POV.  It’s dull and boring.  Other characters are like the spice that adds flavor to the mix.  Some stories are about more than one character’s experiences.

In the case of the Legend of the White Dragon and my current WIP, there’s a larger story arc affecting the characters and touching their lives.  I try to limit how many POV characters I use, and I did write out a few from the series in rewrites, but I still ended up with quite a number.  None of them has a small role, though.  Each of their lives is important to the overall arc.  In fact, it’s what the story is about–how the plot events affect each person and how each of their decisions moves the plot.  It’s so intertwined they can’t be separated.

I love seeing into the different lives of the characters.  Each has their own motivations and skills.

So, how did I do it?  It wasn’t easy.  I worked slowly.  It can take me a while to get back to a character once I leave a scene.  I have to write linearly once I have an outline.  I cannot write a scene that takes place any time ahead, but I can make notes about what I think should happen.  But by the time I reach that point in the future, something may have changed.  (I hate rewriting.)  That means that I write one scene, switch character, and have to find that character again.  By the third book of the LOTWD series, it was easy, but in the first book, I didn’t know who the characters were right away.  That took some discovery.  I often found myself returning to a character but needing to go back to read a previous scene from their POV to get the feel of that character.  It’s like an actor who has to get into character.  That’s what I do when I switch characters.

My current WIP has the same aspect to it.  But with only seven POVs, I don’t have as much trouble switching among the cast. Did I say “only”?  I’m bad for that.  I get this grand vision in my head and feel that it has to be told by several characters.  Not all stories are like that, mind you.  Dark Angel is focused on three and another YA WIP I’ve completed has two.  I just cannot do one POV.  My mind does not like the limitation.

I think in the end, it depends on the story and the writer.  Some writers, like myself (and GRRM comes to mind), see something bigger that needs more, something with a large plot that just wouldn’t shine without meeting a wide range of characters.  Others, like JKR, have a knack for keeping up the mystery, which is best seen through one POV to discover the answers with that character.  And last, I believe that the writer determines the story (obviously–duh!) and the story wraps itself around our unique personalities, which is why we each write the POVs we do.

Dragon Prophecy is now available for pre-order from Mundania Press as a paperback (ebook to come)! It’s not yet on Amazon.com or BN.com, but I’ll let you know when it is. For now, you’ll have to contact Mundania directly from this page.

I can hardly breathe now!

Dragon Prophecy (ISBN 978-1-59426-206-7)
Melanie Nilles
paperback - $14.95

A prophecy was made long ago; a future foretold of dark days returning to the world of Gairdra.
That time has come.
The prophecy also foretold of hope carried on the wings of dragons.
The bearer of that hope has been chosen, a young woman of magical lineage.

The race to save the world has begun. The Darklord and his servants will awaken, but will men and dragons be prepared? Can they overcome generations of jealousy and fear to unite against a common enemy? All will be needed if the two races of men, with the magi and the dragons, hope to survive the coming war.

The fate of Gairdra hangs in the balance.

There was a discussion–quite lively, in fact–last week on Fangs, Fur, and Fey about what differentiates a professional writer from a hobbyist.

The conclusion I’ve drawn from the ways people approach their writing (including bestselling authors) big difference, besides being published, is that true writers are dedicated to putting words down. That may not mean every day, but it does mean finishing projects and submitting them. It does not mean putting down a little here and a little there whenever one feels like it without any real end in sight.

Real writers write, and they are determined to start and end a story. I write every day. Some write in spurts and go days between without any writing (see Melissa Marr’s reply to the post), but they get to THE END. Writers MUST write. It gives us a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. It’s the imagination’s outlet.

Writing is BIC–butt in chair. It is not thinking about writing or browsing the internet. Yes, we do that too, and daydreaming is a way to formulate the story. We DO have to think about it, after all. But in the end, those images are transcribed in words to be read. That is what makes a writer.